Message sent. But message received too Late for Northumbria PC David Rathband

"A Journey is a person in itself. No two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing and coercion are fruitless.  We find, after years of struggle, that we do not take a trip...the trip takes us."
(John Steinbeck)

I was feeling happy a day or so ago, until I turned on the Radio, early in the morning. My mood was relaxed. I had just kissed my husband goodbye as he left for another day shift. I was quietly singing a few familiar and much loved songs from the musical  " South Pacific", as I sipped and savoured my morning coffee.

However it was not to last....My mellow and relaxed mood, instantly changed to a sad one when the news reader announced the sudden death, (possible suicide), of the former Northumbria Traffic Police Officer David Rathband.
Many of us will recall that he was shot in the face and shoulder by Raoul Moat, as he sat in his Police Car at an intersection.  Although the Police Officer survived the horrific facial injuries he was blinded in both eyes and both physically and emotionally scarred by the trauma and life changes that followed.  There can be little doubt that P.C. David Rathband loved his life and job as a Traffic officer.  It seems that it was"in his blood": for even his twin brother "Darren" had also chosen to be a Police Officer, (although the location in Adelaide, South Australia) was quite a different one than his brother.

I know a little bit about Policemen and particularly Traffic Cops.  Many of them are my friends and my husband has also served for 25 years as one.  (My office, in my last Police Satiation was situated right next door to the Traffic Office, as well.)
From my experience and contacts with Traffic Cops over the years, I have found them to be rather independent folk, who often enjoy working alone and although they frequently portray an unfeeling attitude and approach, many are just the opposite, when you get to know them.  Traffic men and women often have to rely on split second decision making.  They also have to spend times at horrendous traffic incidents, where they have to view tremendous carnage.  They often work as a close team with other traffic officers, when needed, although their independence and ability to handle tough situations is very much a part of their personality.

Shortly after Raoul Moats close range shooting, which cost David Rathband his sight , it must have become very evident that a great deal of his former independence had gone, probably forever.  He would never again sit behind the wheel of his Traffic Patrol Car and drive the Motorways and highways.  David Rathband had lost one of his most vital senses, his sight.  His destiny was very different.  He would likely be desk bound in a Police Station and he would have to ask for help...Not an easy thing for him to do.

I imagine that for a while he would have been very angry at what had happened to him.  The anger would likely have fuelled him for a while. His behaviour may have been very volatile, making him hard to live with and unpredictable After a  few months, or even as long as a year.  The anger was likely to be replaced by dark depression as the realisation of what is life would now be like, together with the morning of his old self and life that he had enjoyed.  Likely for the first time in his life he was the one thing that he did not want to be ...A semi-helpless VICTIM.
Most likely he made his plan to end his life on his terms several months ago.  As part of his orderly plan he would have been planning to say his farewells to those he loved.  The trip to his twin brother in Australia was a major step and one important goodbye.
Instead of leaving a note, he left not so subtle hints of his intentions on TWITTER, such as R.I.P. Constable
Rathband and another talking of how many things that he had lost, including his sight and his marriage.

He was in both physical and mental pain.  Also sleep was fitful, interrupted by pain, unbidden thoughts and troubled by flashbacks of the gunfire.

Apparently his Police Force had "Welfare Officers" attend and spend some time with him.  Reportedly, he denied that he was suicidal.  His planned exit....The one bit of control that David Rathbone had left was ready.  He hung himself in a stairwell of his home.
In the words of the book by VALI STONE...."COPS DON'T CRY:"   Neither do they willingly ask for help and pour out their feelings to Police Services such as Occupational Health.

Police and Emergency Services Suicides have long been a problem.  Trained Peers who are fellow officers are one option, to help cope and assimmilate the aftershocks of Sudden Acute Trauma.  This approach has shown some hopeful results.
For those Interested in the subject.  I recommend the "COPS DON'T CRY BOOK" as well as books by former firefighter Jeff Mitchell PHD and a book " EMERGENCY SERVICES STRESS" by Jeff Mitchell and Grady Bray PHD.
They also offer training courses for Peers.  I have taken them.  I found them very useful and worthwhile.
It is important to note that Critical Incident Stress is a different condition than PTSD, (although one can lead to the other, particularly over time and multiple exposures.)

Northumbria Police Constable David Rathband and wife(Daily Telegraph news photo).

                                                                                                                 

Memories, Music, Happy talk

Spring was in the air, winter frosts seemed to have lost their grip and daffodils were bobbing their bright yellow heads in City flower borders, as a friend and I walked by on the way to the Empire theatre, yesterday.

As soon as the Orchestra started to play the South Pacific overture, I was transported back in time and place.  The place was Manchester University and it was a different springtime.  I was a Medical Sciences student and  had just met a tall handsome engineering student at a Student Union dance.
Just as one of the songs said, "our eyes met across a crowded room."  

One of our first dates was to go and see the movie "South Pacific", at one of Manchester's cinemas. When I heard that the stage show was coming to Liverpool, at the large beautifully refurbished Empire theatre, I was determined to go.
A friend and neighbour also expressed a wish to see the leading lady, (actress Samantha Womack, who she had watched, when she also played a leading role in a very popular BBC soap opera...."East Enders).
I told myself to tuck some tissues into my pocket, along with the tickets

Our seats were located in the mid section of the upper circle and we were surrounded by a full house of mainly people over forty...Likely, taking a trip down Memory lane, and enjoying the wonderfully emotive songs, just like we did.

The performances were full of energy, talent and enthusiasm. The orchestra was superb.  All of the actors, singers and dancers were extremely talented.
Samantha Womack was extremely impressive as Navy Nurse Nellie Forbush from Little Rock, Arkansas.
Loretta Ables Sayre, (who I believe is actually an Hawaiian), slipped seemingly effortlessly and into the role of an impressive and very believable "BLOODY MARY".  I think that she was at least equal if not better than the character in the film version.

Australian Daniel Koek, (who played Lieutenant Cable) proved to be, yet another talented actor. I did not think that anyone could have filled the shoes of John Kerr, who played Lt Cable in the 1959 film version, but he did.
Then when we heard the exquisite voice and experienced the Stage presence of Mathew Cammelle, (playing the lead male role of French Planter Emile de Beque...I think that the whole audience, (a full house), were captivated and entranced.
I thought that it would have been impossible to equal the performance of the late Italian born heartthrob, Rossano Brazzi, but Matthew Cannelle did and used his own vocal power and singing range to do so. (Rossano Brazzi had his singing voice dubbed in the film version).

The individual characters,  the stories and the conflicts that they faced changed in name only, despite all of the social change, new threats and "enemies ", that have emerged over the passage of time, since the musical first appeared.
Songs like "You have to be carefully taught...to hate all the people your relatives hate...and to be aware..", are still as pertinent today.
The music and the characters transient time.

In fact I think that I enjoyed and appreciated the musical " South Pacific" even more in 2012, than I did when I first saw it, all those years ago.

Images from Empire Theatre Liverpool performance advertising

In the Public Interest?

"A life making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful, than a life doing nothing." (George Bernard Shaw)

Earlier this month a Tale about a Traffic Speeding Ticket appeared, which created large expanding ripples.  Those ripples soon became surging waves, that prompted the resignation of a prominent member of the current Government's Liberal Democrat/Conservative Coalition Cabinet.
What should have been a minor, "run of the mill", back page story, snowballed into a Front Page prosecution report, (covered by most, if not all, National Newspapers.)

Economist Vicky Pryce and former husband, M.P. Chris Huhne  (BBC) , court illustration

                                                                     
According to published reports, the beginnings of the saga started way back in 2003, when  a vehicle belonging to the, then, married couple, was caught speeding in ESSEX.

Apparently some doubt emerged, as to who was actually driving the car at the time of the speeding offence and whether or not the "actual offender" was the one who owned up and took the penalty and the three points on their driving licence.
Then, after an extensive investigation, reportedly, ESSEX Police apparently gained sufficient evidence to have the Crown Prosecution Service issue a Court Summons, for the couple.
The charges are "Perverting the Course of Justice".
The basis of the charges are that Mrs. Huhne, allegedly, falsely, claimed that she was the person driving the vehicle at the time of the speeding offence.
Although the reasons for her allegedly  "taking the rap" in place of her husband is not explained, in the news reports that I have read....I assume that she was either trying to ensure that he did not lose his driving licence, or that he would not be the subject of any disgrace, because of his role, in the Limelight, as a prominent Cabinet Minister?
(Possibly, if he had accrued previous points on his driving licence, the 2003 speeding offence, would have caused his licence to be revoked?)

Whatever the reason, the recently divorced couple have now been charged with perverting the course of justice offence and appeared at their preliminary hearing together on February 16.

Chris Huhne tendered his resignation as Energy and Climate Secretary, to the Prime Minister, prior to him being charged with the offence.
His ex wife Vicky Price has also been charged.
Both have stated their Innocence to the charge and are next scheduled to appear in Court on March 2.

Both Vicky Pryce and Chris Huhne are very intelligent, well educated, people who have risen to the top of their separate professions and have been married for over twenty five years.
Both are middle aged and mature adults, who have raised three children together.  The youngest of whom is apparently thirteen.  Their divorce was only recently finalised.
The 2003 speeding incident was apparently prior to Mr. Huhne's fairly recently revealed affair with a younger Public Relations advisor, Carina Trimingham, (that affair was the likely trigger for the divorce.)  

It must now be highly embarrassing for both Mr. Huhne and his ex wife  that the  "fall-out" from a 2003 speeding ticket is now forcing them to share a court docket and witness stand.

What I cannot understand is why the matter of a presumably jointly owned family vehicle, being caught by a speed camera, going over the speed limit nearly 10 years ago, when the offending driver has not been clearly identified, has now become a Criminal Court Prosecution Case.

One of the registered owners has obviously already stepped forward...Paid the fine...and accepted the points on her driving licence.  In my mind the State has already extracted "it's Pound of flesh"?
Why is it now in the Public Interest to drag this case through a lengthy, embarrassing and costly full trial process?

Even if the former Mrs Huhne did actually consider the ramifications of stepping  forward, in 2003, to protect her husband, from the possibility of losing his licence, I cannot say that I would not be tempted to shield my own husband in similar circumstances!

I well recall when I was present during an orientation on Principles of Law, when serving on a Court users Committee that a High Court Judge spoke of the first gate, (question to be asked or sifting point), to any prosecution is.....The question....is the prosecution IN THE PUBLIC INTEREST OR IS PUBLIC SAFETY AN ISSUE?  IF THE ANSWER IS YES, then the case should proceed.

One of the other questions that he talked about was...If given the same circumstances...Would a reasonable person, be likely to do the same thing?                              
         
I think that the answer to the first question, in my opinion is NO.
As to the second question....my response is YES.
I also wonder about the length of time that has elapsed between the march 2003 Speeding offence and the current date of February 2012?  The time period is almost ten years.
Is there not a Statute of Limitations in such cases?

Or is he being made an example of for Political or Social Reasons?

Positive discrimination, Gender Quotas versus Free Choice. Borgen

Photo from Danish BBC 4 series "BORGEN"

"The possibility for rich relationships exists all around you - you simply have to open your eyes, open your mouth and, most importantly, open your heart,"  (Cheryl Richardson)


During the past 6 weeks, I have been almost glued to BBC TV FOUR during Saturday Nights.  Once again the Scandinavian production company that brought us "The Killing" and "Wallander", produced another absorbing series.  The focus this time was on a Danish Prime Ministerial Candidate who had to make some very tough choices.
Topical?  It certainly was.
Spellbinding and attention getting?  Yes to both of those too.
I think that it likely started debates on many family sofas about subjects such as women and men's roles, House husbands, Marriage, the role of a family, Legislated Gender Equality and whether we can "HAVE IT ALL" and are we willing to pay the price?  For I have found that for every choice that we make, we also have to give something up.

In the recently televised drama BORGEN, BIRGITTE,  the female central character did achieve her goal of being Prime Minister, although she encountered intense difficulties, in being able to share her role and responsibilities, or compromise her principals, in any way.
Eventually, we the viewers had ringside seats to watch Birgitte (incredibly portrayed by Sidse Babette Knudson), becoming unable to step back from her official role, or enjoy time away from the leadership, as the marriage and family life disintegrated..
It was almost as though she was at war with herself, as her gentle inner self, gave way to someone who became extremely focused on her job and tended to disregard her former consideration of others.

She literally gave everything at the office and came home depleted of energy and interest in her two children or the impact that it was having on her husband.
Dramatically, faced with a choice,  she sacrificed her private life and her husband in the final episode.

I wonder how many women, like me, were yelling "NO...NO...NO!, at the screen as she and Phillip, her former college lecturer husband agreed to divorce.
All of the Scandinavian countries are considered very progressive when it comes to Equality issues.  I believe that there are quotas governing the number of women who should be sitting on the Boards of Companies there.

A February 9 Daily Telegraph article reports that the current Conservative Prime Minister, David Cameron is in favour of emulating some of Scandinavian gender equality programs and policies to help stimulate the economy by ".....increasing the number of women on the boards of British Companies.
I should mention that the above mentioned Feb 9 article, very well written by JILL KIRBY, points out that Prime Minister Cameron fails to note that "..... America leads the way in promoting women to the boardroom because the U.S. has one of the lowest levels of labour regulation of any Western economy..."
The Telegraph goes on to report in an February 10 article that a former Labour Cabinet Minister,  Harriet Harman, commented that "feminised management teams would have avoided the financial crash..."

I am one of those people who do not believe that you can or should legislate human attitudes or behaviours.
I guess that I am a fan of Laizzez faire and minimum legislation where people and Economies, find their own levels and people make their own choices, with little Government interference.
If I succeed in a career I want it to be by my own merits, not because I am a woman who ticks some Politicians box.

Photo by ALAMY , from 10 Feb DailyTelegraph article 2012

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Below is a chart showing gender differences in the selection of Graduate school subjects

Source: freemarketmojo. blog

                                       

                                                               

Highway Robbery?

"Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking. Be the chess player not the Chess Piece." (Ralph Charell).

An English (un-manned) Speed camera

A young family man was speaking with me, this past weekend. He was telling me about his problem and why he felt that he had to make a decision that he did not want to take.
The problem that he wanted to discuss was this.....
He had been returning from work on the previous Friday evening, after working a little later than usual.  The time was a just after the "normal" business rush hour.  As he left the Mersey Tunnel toll booths, he accelerated slightly as he climbed the slight incline , to get to his exit lane.
Apparently the speed limit in that area is 30 mph.  Unknown to him there was an unmarked Undercover Police car parked and stationery by the side of the road, doing an undercover operation.
The Police Officer pulled him over and informed him that he had been doing 35mph in a 30 mph zone.
The man was given what is known as a Fixed penalty notice (a FPN).  This speeding ticket carries a penalty of £60 and three points on your driving license.
You then have to attend at a nearby Police Station, (Within a specified short time) and produce both your plastic photo type driving license and the separate full page of paper which is mailed to you when you get your driving licence.
I listened to the circumstances that he explained to me.
He did not know that the car parked by the road was a Police Car, or that the man in it was a Police Officer.
The man explained that he had to accelerate in order to proceed up the hill and reach his turn off lane.  Apparently this action only took about one or  two minutes, before he then dropped his speed and merged with traffic.
He explained that he could ill afford to fight the Penalty ticket cost and that his take home daily pay was £60.

The man was telling me that if he quickly paid the fine and did not dispute the ticket, the fine would reduce to £30.
However if he notified the Police that he intended to go to a Magistrates Court and offer reasons why he did not think that he was guilty of speeding, he would have to pay a higher amount and  pay court costs.

I could see and hear that he was in the middle of a real dilemma, where his conscience told him to fight and tell the truth and circumstances to the court and the harsh reality that he was the main bread winner and had a young family who was economically dependent on him.

What do you think...Is it fair...Would you contest the ticket?
Is this a modern highwayman, (your money or your life DICK TURPIN), situation or not?

Here is the ACPO, (Association of Chief Police Officers) speed enforcement guidelines chart.

SPEED LIMIT....20mph......Minimum speed for a speeding ticket... 25mph.  Minimum speed for prosecution....35mph


SPEED Limit..... 30mph..... Minimum speed for a speeding ticket... 35mph. Minimum speed for prosecution....50mph


SPEED Limit....40mph.....  Minimum speed for a speeding ticket....46mph.  Minimum speed for  prosecution......66mph


SPEED Limit...50mph.....  Minimum speed for a speeding ticket....57mph....Minimum speed for prosecution....76mph


SPEED Limit....60mph.... Minimum speed for a speeding ticket....68mph....Minimum speed for  prosecution ...86mph


SPEED Limit...70mph.....Minimum speed for a speeding ticket....79mph...Minimum speed for prosecution .... 96mph


The man with the fixed penalty notice asked me what I would do in his position.  I replied that I would prefer to go before a traffic court or magistrate and fight the ticket.  Unfortunately he said that he could not risk having to pay court costs as well as the £60. My advice on this occasion was free. Although he agreed with me....He made the decision based on his own current economic necessity.

P.S. I have received four traffic tickets in my life.  One was in Australia, (which I paid because I was 20 miles over the speed limit.)
The second two were in the U.S. (One was when I was on a Freeway, where I was 10 miles over the speed limit and received a verbal warning. The other occasion was when my new car's speedometer was broken and I was given a speeding ticket.  ( I challenged the ticket in court and the case was dismissed, with no costs.)
The last occasion was in Canada, again on a free-way, when I was pushed into the car ahead by a driver behind me, when I was stopped because of a  road traffic accident ahead of me.  A Traffic Policeman gave me a ticket for following too close.  I took it to Court and the Police Officer who had issued the ticket failed to appear...The case was dismissed and again I paid no court costs.

I choose NOT to drive in England. As I find that traffic laws are very inconsistent, with little room for officer's discretion.

A Father's presence is an important part of Parenting

Fathers and the Law (GETTY IMAGES) from 5 Feb Daily Telegraph article

"What is done to children, they will do to Society," (Dr Karl Menninger)


According to some news reports the U.K. Government is at long last going to review legal access and possibly improve custody rights for divorced and separated fathers.
The Politicians and London law makers are also examining what can be done to ensure that grandparents are not left out of the Divorce, separation access process and contact arrangements.

For far too long the whole divorce process has frequently been an acrimonious one, where both parties hire their own lawyers, seemingly with the purpose of the divorce outcome creating a "loser" and a "winner".
In other words a "worthy" parent and an "unworthy" one.
Naturally with this process the parent that has been determined to be the "Worthy" one, (Frequently the woman), gains physical custody of the children, while the Father has to be content with a limited visitation right.

Divorce, separation and their aftermath is all to frequently a horrendous and damaging situation, which is a severe and sharp contrast to what started out with smiles, love, commitment and promises to each other and a shower of confetti.

Since I returned to live in England I have followed with admiration the tenacity of one group of crusading fathers named "FATHERS FOR JUSTICE".  This group of men have been willing to stand up in public, climb onto rooftops and often face arrest, in order to bring to the public's attention, how Fathers are often almost "surgically" removed from their children's lives after a divorce.

I have seen instances where issues such as missing or a reduced support payment, is seen as a reason to deny, cut off access or blacken the father's reputation and image.
Do such actions do  harm to the children of the marriage? I tend to think that they do inflict some emotional or developmental damage.

I think that it is time for the whole divorce and separation process to be removed from an adversarial court system, that administers a cold "one size fits all" type of justice and looks, with some feeling and understanding at what is best for all parties.  The system should also acknowledge the important role that many Fathers can and do have in their children's lives and the fact that some Fathers are just as capable of being the primary care giver as the Mother.
Society and children may both benefit.
I will watch with great interest to see what changes the Justice Minister actually achieves.

I note that a U.K. Charity called "THE WAVE TRUST" has also recently featured a comment section on LINKED IN on the subject of how important the influence of a Father is, in the raising and development of a child.
Maybe take a look and add a comment?

Sometimes conversations should not only be about the Weather... the time to influence fatal decisions may be a brief & narrow window. (A MALE Gender gap)

"Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much your care". (Theodore Roosevelt)

Precarious Moment or Crisis Symbol

    
For the past few days , we have been shivering and wrapping up more warmly than during a "normal" U.K. winter. You may wonder why I say that?  It is because the U.K. and some other Norther European countries have been held in the grip of a bitterly cold weather front which drifted in from Russia.
Weather forecasters daily show us satellite generated charts of a slightly warmer Atlantic front, battling for supremacy, against a seemingly powerful Baltic system.
This Border less weather system symbolises, to me, one of the facts of life, that we cannot currently control.


However, when it comes to the topic of Emotions and Personal feelings, some of these deep seated feelings, should be openly discussed, so that we may be able to bring about open discussions & positive and productive conversations.


Two tragic events, both Suicides of young males, and three Newspaper features on the topic of "Suicide rates on the rise" (The Guardian January 2012), have once again brought the subject to my attention during the last few days of January. One of the young men was a Student of 24, whose girlfriend had just ended their relationship.


One 28 January 2012,  article states that....."The number of suicides in the U.K. has risen sharply since the recession began... rising  from 5,377 deaths in 2007 to 5,706 in 2008....THREE TIMES AS MANY MEN AS WOMEN KILL THEMSELVES."
Another timely and important article published in THE GUARDIAN of 17 January with the title.." WE TELL BOYS NOT TO CRY, THEN WONDER ABOUT MALE SUICIDE..." 
In this article, former footballer DEAN WINDASS, reveals that he had attempted suicide twice recently and goes on to say..."Everyone thinks that Dean Windass is a laugh and a joke and a kid...blah..blah..blah, and got loads of money and his wife and kids are lovely....But that's all a mask. I was in pieces, I couldn't stop drinking or crying....


There seems to be far more willingness and attention paid to women's feelings, fears or issues. Women also seem to have an easier time forming close and supportive networks of friends who are willing to listen to their emotions and experiences.
Somehow, a man who wants to talk about how he feels, seems to be regarded as an "oddball" and someone to be avoided or offered to come out for a drink, "That will cheer you up?"


What kind of feelings an possibly be going through someones head at the time that they might be considering killing themselves.  Here are a few possible ones.

Overwhelming feelings and fear of loss.
(Triggers and fears could be economic loss, job loss or relationship loss, or even something as common as turning 40.)
Stress
People will be better off without me or do not need me any more.
I cannot see any other way out.
I don't think that I can cope with all that is expected of me.
I cannot stand the internal pain any more and want it to end   
No-one wants to listen to me or understand how I am feeling


COMMON FACTORS PRIOR TO THE SUICIDE
The use of alcohol prior to committing suicide is a common factor,  (alcohol is frequently used to "numb" or dull feelings that the person wishes to extinguish. Although Alcohol also has a documented depressive affect.)
A  recent row or a threatened/ actual break-up in a relationship often emerges during evidence presented during inquests.          


Even if you think that the person who is saying or texting to you, words like..."I am thinking or have thought about killing myself,"   doesn't mean what he is saying...or is not the suicide "type" or would never kill themselves because he loves his wife and children....Please break through your own discomfort zone and ASK.  Did you mean it when you said you wanted to Kill yourself?  Have you planned how to do it and when and how?


By showing that you are willing to ask such questions, you may be one of the keys to talking, listening   to words  that need to be expressed.  Turning down the burner...Lessening the pain.... and maybe...Just maybe...being an instrument for one less suicide.
In saying those words and showing a willingness to listen to words and feelings, tat are not about the weather, the children or other so called "safe" subjects, someone may step back from a precipice.
DARE TO SHOW YOU CARE BY BREAKING THE DISCOMFORT BARRIER, REALLY TALKING AND LISTENING AND THEN FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH ENSURING APPROPRIATE MENTAL OR MEDICAL HEALTH SERVICES ARE IN PLACE.     


The C.A.L.M. (Campaign against living miserably)  website is thecalmzone.net
the C.A.L.M. Helpline is 0808 802 5858 (within London)  or 0800 585858 (Outside London)                                   

P.S.  On the subject of conversations, particularly English ones...In a recent news interview, Russian born Composer and Symphony Conductor, Vasily Petrenko, who currently lives and works in our area of England, commented about the different styles and content of conversations.
I quote an excerpt of what he said....."..Here people usually say something different to what they mean, even from the very beginning of the conversation.  In Russia if you asked someone "How are you?",  you would get all their problems, starting from three generations before."....